We’ve gotten several requests for baby gear recommendations based on the kinds of things we’re finding useful as new parents.  Since this isn’t of interest to everyone, we’re posting it here on our baby blog.  We’re going to keep this blog live for very specific stuff like this post — stuff that’s not of interest to anyone who doesn’t have kids (or whose kids are older).  But most things will be posted on our regular blog now.

Our approach to preparing for this baby was to not get a lot of stuff and not to get anything that we’d only use for a few months.  We didn’t set up a nursery — partially because we didn’t want to jinx things but also partially because we didn’t want to dedicate a room to the kid and his accoutrements.  We thought that if we dedicated a room, we’d end up filling it up.  But by not setting aside one of our precious rooms for the baby, we could always just tell ourselves and others that we didn’t have room for whatever item was being suggested.  And for the most part, that strategy worked.  We’re co-sleeping, so really the idea of creating a very large walk-in closet for the smallest member of our household wouldn’t have made sense.  Right now he really doesn’t need much.  Our bare bones equipment list is as follows:

• Mom (complete with arms and boobs)
• Cloth diapers and reusable wipes — we’re using Fuzzi Bunz diapers (size small for now, not the one-size) and Baby Kicks flannel wipes (made from hemp & organic cotton).  Huge thanks to Morgan for giving us all of Brady’s old diapers — we’ll only have to buy the mediums which saved us hundreds of dollars.  And we find that the reusable wipes are SO much more effective and easier to use than disposable wipes — and cheaper over the long run too!
• Clothes — since we do laundry at least 3 or 4 times a week, we don’t need much in the way of clothes — sleepers with footies are the most practical and I’d say 10 is plenty.  We have been fortunate enough not to have to buy any.  Between gifts and hand-me-downs Nico has more clothes than he needs.
• Slings — so far I love the Moby Wrap and the Beco and they enable me to get out of the house at least once a day, even in the middle of winter (photos and links below).
• Bouncy seat — I was opposed to buying anything that was only going to have a limited life span, but this has proven to be very handy when I shower — it keeps him happy for long enough to shower and usually also get dressed.  I paid $5 or $10 for it at a consignment sale — I wouldn’t recommend buying one new.  This one vibrates and plays music and has a built-in blanket and built-in toys.  (Frank says the music makes him insane, but I don’t mind it that much and Nico seems to like it.)

• Swing — again, something we wouldn’t have bought, but it’s been a lifesaver when he’s fussy and nothing else will please him or when I need to put him down in a safe place while I do laundry or something else.  We are borrowing this super fancy one from Hussein and Nashua.

• A few high-contrast, brightly colored toys and books

• Waterproof pad for him and me to sleep on and a bed rail so he can sleep next to me rather than between Frank and me.  Sara loaned us hers when Cyrus outgrew it.

• Nursing shirts and reusable breast pads for me
• A changing pad that mounts to the dresser that we keep Nico’s clothes in and baskets for his clothes and diapers so we don’t have to fold them if we don’t have time.  (The changing pad isn’t required, but it’s been nice to have.  When we’re done with it, we can unscrew it from the back and he’ll just have the dresser.)  Thanks to both sets of grandparents for this combo.
• Our vacuum cleaner — sometimes it’s the only thing that will make him stop screaming.  We don’t know why, but we’re glad it works.

Here are some more details on things we’re really glad we’ve got (even if they’re not on our bare bones list):

Stroller

We went to a store called Great Beginnings in MD, armed with the Baby Bargains book and ready to drop a lot of money on a stroller because it would be our primary means of transporting the little one around for the next few years.  But after talking to an extremely knowledgeable salesperson, we immediately decided to get the first stroller he suggested to us.  It’s the Baby Jogger City Mini and what sold us on it was the ease of folding it.  You take the baby out and grab a handle that’s in the seat.  The entire stroller folds in half as you lift that little handle.  Super easy, super fast, and with the one-hand operation, I can easily take Nico on the bus by myself and handle the stroller on my own.  Thanks to my parents for buying this for us.  The photo below isn’t that great, but you can see a demo on the Baby Jogger website.

Slings

That said, we haven’t used the stroller yet (except for one trip to a restaurant so we’d have a place to put him).  I LOVE my Moby Wrap and my Beco carrier, and I only take Nico out in them.  I had planned to get an Ergo, but Jenn at Waddle n Swaddle in Poughkeepsie had me try a Beco.  It’s smaller and more compact and was designed by a woman who’s a rock climber.  Every small detail was thought out and as a sling it’s extremely comfortable and very ergonomic for a little person like me.  But Frank finds it very comfortable too.  An added bonus is the fact that the baby is self-contained in the sling, so we can switch who’s carrying him without taking him out of the sling.  And it comes with the infant insert, so it can be used for a newborn at no extra cost.

The Moby Wrap is also wonderful.  I can put it on early in the day and just put him in and take him out as needed.  He can face me or he can face out.  And since it’s just a long piece of fabric, it’s not heavy.  When he was a newborn he didn’t love having his feet wrapped up in it, and I didn’t love that either because he would push with his legs and I was afraid he’d catapult himself out.  But now that he’s bigger and I put him in with his feet sticking out, he’s much happier and can stay in the sling for hours.  Thanks to Sara for this wonderful gift.

Our Bathtub

Frank’s Aunt Lucy and cousins Ruth and Julia bought a Tummy Tub bathtub for us with the little stand / step stool that accompanies it.  We love the tub.  Nico sits in it upright and it’s supposed to mimic the womb, which is supposed to soothe a colicky baby.  Since he’s mostly not colicky, we don’t need it for that, but I can see how babies might feel really comforted by the shape and their position in it.  What I love about it is that we can bathe him in any room and the stand puts him up higher than the ground (but not as high as a dresser or a counter).  So it’s comfortable for me to bathe him.  Something else I really like about this is that it’s multi-purpose.  When he’s done with it, we can use the “tub” as a regular bucket and the stand becomes a cute step stool for us to keep in the bathroom to help him when he washes his hands and brushes his teeth.  This is much better than having a bathtub sit around and take up space in our basement once he’s bathing in the regular tub.  And we don’t have to buy a separate step stool.  Frank took a great photo of him laughing in the tub, but I don’t know how to get it off his phone and onto the site.  But our friend Chip got the great photo below and the next photo after that shows how little room the tub takes up in our tiny bathroom, under the pedestal sink.

High Chair

We haven’t put this together yet, but we’re excited about the Svan high chair Frank’s mom and sisters Marie and Denise got for us.  Again, because we didn’t want anything with a limited life span, this is a highchair that converts into a child’s chair and then an adult chair.  So we’ll always have a use for it.

I’m sure there’s more to add, but if I don’t post this today, I’ll probably never get it up here.  Another post I’m working on is on useful books.  I’ve got a page on this website (look to the right) dedicated to books, but I’m planning to post a write-up about some that have been particularly useful lately.

Nico is one month old today and we’re hoping to post photos from his first month really soon.  (The good news is that I’m feeling a lot better now, so I should be able to work on this now.)  In the meantime, I thought I’d make a note of some of his milestones since he’s already changed so much in his first month.

He is still a really mellow and easy-going baby.  But he definitely has his fussy times.  He likes to eat nonstop from 7-11 in the morning and at night, and then he sleeps in long stretches between 11 and 7.  In the morning, this constant feeding is no problem because I have tons of milk.  But at night, supplies run low and he gets impatient!  It takes me about an hour to replenish, and that seems like an eternity to him.  The solution?  I pump in the middle of the night and/or in the morning and then we feed him a couple ounces of that pumped milk when he starts fussing at night.

He screamed - and when I say screamed, I mean SCREAMED - for 3 hours straight on Monday night.  As we took turns trying to figure out what was wrong by scanning our parenting books, we both came to the conclusion that he was exhibiting textbook signs of colic.  Yikes!  We were scared that this might continue for the next 2 or 3 months, but so far it was an isolated event.  Phew!  I really feel for parents of colicky babies — that night was very stressful and I can only imagine how hard it would be to deal with that every day.

Our friends, Hussein and Nashua, loaned us Zakariyya’s old swing.  They said it was a lifesaver for them and they offered it to us the day after Nico’s colic episode.  We gratefully accepted it and he loves it!  It helps a lot with extending the time between the evening feedings.

Last night he was quite fussy and wouldn’t go to sleep (for the first time ever).  We noticed that he was extra awake and alert and looking at everything as though he was seeing it with new eyes.  Today we read our Wonder Weeks book (which gives information about developmental milestones that often lead to predictable days or weeks of fussiness) and it turns out that around 5 weeks (but as early as 4 weeks) babies’ 5 senses develop and they suddenly perceive everything really differently.  It was amazing to actually be able to see this happen.  When he’s been awake today his eyes have darted around much more instead of staying fixed on an object.  And he is smiling even more than before — he seems to like being able to see (and feel / smell / hear / taste) in this new way.

I’m anxiously awaiting his first laugh.  He gives us huge wide-mouthed grins when we tickle him or make funny faces, so hopefully his first laugh is right around the corner.  I’m very glad to have such a smiley baby!

He’s going to start losing some of his instinctual behaviors soon, which makes me sad.  I think the first ones to go will be his grasping reflex and his ability to roll over.  But his complex brain will soon take over for his animal brain on these things and he’ll be able to do the same things and much more once that happens.  We’ve really enjoyed watching all of his reflexive behaviors in this first month — from the rooting reflex to the climbing reflex to following objects with his eyes and turning his head toward sounds.

So all is going really well in our new-parent world.  Nico has just about outgrown his newborn clothes already and we’re guessing that he weighs over 10 pounds now.  He makes it fun to be a parent and we look forward to seeing what month 2 has in store for us.  Photos are available here.

It’s hard to believe that it’s already been 4 weeks since I was in labor, waiting to see what my little boy was going to look like.  To commemorate the day, I’ve posted photos from his birth.  None are too graphic, don’t worry.  It starts with me laboring at home and ends with him in the NICU.  I’m planning to post his birth story as soon as I can.  In the meantime, enjoy the photos!

I probably won’t be going into labor for at least a couple of days.  I’m fighting a cold — it hit me on Thursday which was also the first day I decided to stay home and start my maternity leave.  It’s nothing serious — just a cough and a lot of sinus congestion.  But the midwives said that women generally don’t go into labor until they’re feeling better (if they’re sick around delivery time).

Just wanted to post something so you’d know that I wasn’t MIA because of something exciting.  Just a run of the mill cold is all…

The problem with due dates?  Very few babies arrive on them.  I have been saying all along that November 15th to December 15th is the due date range that I anticipate.  With each day that passes, the window narrows and our chances of guessing right increase.  But I could still have 2 weeks to go, and I’m ok with that.  I’m still having very few side effects.  Over the past week I’ve started getting pretty tired.  But that could be as much because we’ve had company for the past 3 weekends, hosted a Pre-Thanksgiving party for 25, I closed out all of my work at both jobs and on the board of directors, and we had our parents in town for several days for Thanksgiving as it is because I’m pregnant.  I definitely don’t have the stamina I used to have, but hey, that’s to be expected and it’s not so bad.  Otherwise, no typical side effects at all.  The only thing I’ve got going on is some pain when I walk, which I’ve been having for a month now.  It’s completely unpredictable and seems to come when the kid turns its head in a certain direction.  Until it turns its head back, I can hardly walk.  But then once the head has turned, I experience no residual pain — it’s just gone and I can walk like a normal human again.  Not sure what any of that means, but it’s certainly not a big deal when I consider that I’m still sleeping well, able to eat without heartburn, and generally feeling pretty good.  I like this pregnancy thing!  Maybe it’s a good thing that it took me so long to get here — I appreciate how lucky I am every day and am just enjoying the ride rather than getting impatient to have it be over.  (Of course, if I were miserable I’d be anxious to have it be done with even while I still felt really lucky.)

Here’s a shot of how I look right now at 40 weeks.

Our parents were all in town for Thanksgiving and I was able to schedule a midwife appointment for while they were here.  Both moms got a chance to look on while I was examined (the dads hid in the dining room).  And they got a chance to ask any questions they had.  The only bummer was that the midwife STILL couldn’t find the heartbeat.  This is the third midwife to try with a third doppler.  But she seems to think that all the static she hears is interference of some sort, rather than just my placenta.  She tried and tried, but couldn’t coax a heartbeat out of the doppler.  I wasn’t worried — I’m still feeling lots of movement.  And she did get the heartbeat with her stethoscope.  But I had been hoping the parents could have heard the heartbeat while they were here.  The good news is that my blood pressure is still plenty low, the head seems to be down, and all is moving ahead normally.  So there’s no reason to think I won’t be able to do this at home — I’ve managed to stay nice and low risk despite all my challenges with eating right.

Here’s a photo of the moms looking on as the midwife tries to judge the baby’s size.  (She thinks it will be between 7 and 8 pounds, just like the other 2 midwives do.)

Just for some proof that every once in a while the doppler does work for me, here’s a photo from my 11/4/09 prenatal where the midwife is timing the baby’s heartbeat using the doppler.  It does work sometimes!

The good thing is that they’ve all been able to get the heartbeat with either the fetoscope or a stethoscope so they should still be able to monitor the heartbeat during labor — outside interference or no.

I’ve already posted about two of our wonderful showers.  A few of our great DC friends have been helping us finish up big projects in lieu of a baby shower — an absolutely amazing gift (with more updates coming soon because they’ve done more since the last photos).  And our grad school friends went all out throwing a double baby shower for Bonnie and me.  (Bonnie and Tom finally welcomed Holly Caroline into the world after 2 weeks of labor — she is precious and they are doing well.)  But now we have 2 more showers to post about.

The first was thrown by Frank’s mom and was on Long Island.  We broke from tradition and asked that it be co-ed so Frank could be there and so we’d get to see our dads and other male relatives that we don’t get to see very often.  We had a great time and all of the gifts we got were extremely thoughtful and very practical.  No wipe warmers or bumper pads or other things that would just take up room in our already very small and crowded house.  Photos from that great day are here.  Many of them (like the one below) were taken by Frank’s niece, Dana.  She’s a budding artist and has a really great eye for photography.  Thank you Dana!

The second shower was thrown by our crazy and wonderful friends, Gina and Chip.  Gina is even more pregnant than I am — due about a week before me.  She is finishing writing a book — hopefully before the new baby comes.  They bought a house and moved in about a month ago.  And they have an almost three year old daughter who just started at a new school.  We tried to convince them that they were too busy to throw us a shower (we even withheld the guest list for a long time in hopes that they’d forget), but they were persistent.  And we’re really glad they were.  They threw us a fantastic book shower and now our children’s book library is full of all sorts of old favorites and new releases that come highly recommended by the under-5 set.  A week later, we got to go to their shower for baby Somo Dos.  A few photos from both showers are here (along with a few of Frank and me taking a fall walk in Rock Creek Park after the Somobright shower).

Thank you all for all the showers.  Baby Schipegan is all set!

We’ll be posting more updates this week, but in the meantime, here are a couple of belly shots.  The first is from 2 weeks ago, when I was 36 weeks.  The second is from yesterday when I was just about 38 weeks.  I actually think I look smaller in the 38 week photo.  Either way, I’m still not as big as I expected to be.  I guess being short doesn’t mean that your belly has to get huge, even if you get really big really fast early on like I did.  I have gained somewhere between 40 and 50 pounds, though, so maybe the belly just looks small in relation to the rest of me getting bigger!

Above is my belly at 36 weeks.  Below is my belly at 38 weeks.

Stay tuned for more updates!

I had another prenatal visit today and all is going well.  The baby is head-down, which is a good thing.  Frank and I could even feel the head through my lower stomach.  Let me tell you — that’s a weird feeling!  It’s like feeling a squash sitting in between your hip bones — and we all know how it has to come out!  Eek!

Everything is measuring fine — my uterus is 33 cm high, which is within the normal range.  (You’re supposed to be within 2 cm + or - the gestational age.)  The heartrate was 144 and she had no trouble hearing it with the doppler.  (Still can’t hear anything but the placenta with the fetoscope.)  My blood pressure is still nice and low.  My weight has leveled off.  And all seems fine.  She said that the baby is big enough that even if I went into labor in 2 weeks I’d be able to deliver at home.  Whoa.  It’s hard to think about being ready 2 weeks from now!  Luckily I’m not officially due for 6 more weeks…even that seems like not very much time!

Here’s a picture of me from Saturday.  Sorry it’s kind of dark.

We have lots more to blog about — including our recent trip to Chicago and the baby shower Frank’s mom threw for us in NY two weeks before that.  But I wanted to get this post up while it was still fairly fresh.  I’ll catch up when things at my second job have slowed down — probably in 2 weeks.

Also, we’re sending good thoughts to our friends, Bonnie and Tom.  Bonnie went into labor last Saturday and has been having contractions for the past week and a half.  She’s set to be induced on Friday but we’re all hoping their little girl decides to come out on her own before then.  Poor Bonnie isn’t getting a whole lot of rest and she’s eager to meet her little girl!

I went to DC’s Breastfeeding Center today for a free Breastfeeding Basics class.  I knew a lot of the stuff they covered from talking to friends, but it was pretty amazing to watch a video of a baby bounce and wiggle its way to the breast to feed — even when just born (and therefore otherwise unable to hold up its head or scoot or crawl on its own).  I knew that they did that, but couldn’t actually really picture it.

Then I just saw a post that my midwife put on Facebook about the size of a baby’s stomach when it’s first born.  They covered this in the class too, and this was a surprise to me.  I think the fairy tale in the link my midwife shared illustrates the point from the class perfectly.

Frank has finished Alfie Kohn’s book, Unconditional Parenting, and I’m about halfway through it.  Kohn recently had an article in the NY Times that summarizes the theory in his book.  Basically he believes (and now there is some data to support the idea) that conditional parenting — in which love is freely given when children succeed and is withheld when children fail — is damaging to a child and to the child’s relationship with his/her parents.  I find his arguments very persuasive and both Frank and I are interested in trying to give our child(ren) unconditional love and establish a mutually respectful relationship.  But I also think it’s going to be a daily struggle for me to try to maintain the focus required to follow his approach.  I think, for me, the hardest part is going to be figuring out how to avoid mindlessly praising children for things that don’t actually require praise.  That’s such a knee-jerk reaction for me that it’s going to take a long time for me to figure out appropriate alternatives for those situations.  But I have some good role models for this and Kohn says in his book that the whole thing is a process — it will be OK if I don’t succeed all the time as long as the basics of the relationship structure are there.